One day you will see that it all has finally come together.
What you have always wished for has finally come to be.
You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you
will ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?”
Just never let go of hope. Just never quit dreaming.
And never let love depart from your life.
by Jancarl Campi
Decide to network
Use every letter you write
Every conversation you have
Every meeting you attend
To express your fundamental beliefs and dreams
Affirm to others the vision of the world you want
Network through thought
Network through action
Network through love
Network through the spirit
You are the center of a network
You are the center of the world
You are a free, immensely powerful source of
life and goodness
Affirm it
Spread it
Radiate it
Decide to network
Think day and night about it
And you will see a miracle happen:
the greatness of your own life
In a world of big powers, media, and monopolies
But of four and a half billion individuals
Networking is the new freedom
the new democracy
a new form of happiness.
Almost midnight as I write this, the room is dark and Ashanti is playing in the background.. Some love song “Never Should Have” if I am not wrong.
In my head I am debating whether to watch a movie or read a book. Trying to find ways to get me out of my own head, because if I don’t; I feel myself sucking into depression. Probably I should get some work done. But lately my life has been a lie, I do not even know what the truth is anymore. I desire to find someone to talk to, someone to open up to, but of all my 562 contacts none seem fit for that task. Ok, maybe just one but that one… Hmmm… Is no longer quite fit for the profile anymore.
You would think I have love related issues.
The issues I have are with me. I look at my life and it isn’t where I want it to be. I am not proud of it. It isn’t the life I had envisioned for myself in my tender years. A part of me says “you can change that, I have always given you new opportunities and chances to do so. I guess you are now paying for it. But you can still change it.” It goes on and on trying to find ways to encourage me. I flicker on and off my bedside lamp stand; then I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The reflection is just a shadow. But I can see myself quite clearly. Just looking right through me and I start to cry.
Then my entire life starts playing right in front of me. And I wonder where did I go wrong. Where did I lose myself? Where did I allow all this crap into my life. After all everything is usually a slow fade. These walls must have had a crack somewhere along the way and now I have this large crack running down it. I know if I don’t do something now it will all come crumbling down and my shame will be all out for people to see.
I breathe in slow and hold my breathe. “You can handle this Noni” I chant and breathe out. I do this a couple of times. But now I no longer cry I break out. “Father, I need your help. I don’t think I can go further if you don’t do something. Father, please.” I pray. Something gotta give. I need courage.
Then the voice again; “Girl, you gotta be strong, wipe those tears. You know what you have to do to fix this.” I lie on my bed, stare at my ceiling. Turn off my bedside lamp stand. From tomorrow it will all be better.
I wonder when people drown their sorrows in whisky and vodka shots does it help. I guess it is an escape point for some hours. But the hangover and the realization that your troubles are still right before you is more painful than staying sober. I look back again at my life. Goodness me for a girl who used to be very energetic and still is I am quite lazy. So lazy that I can’t fight my own body.
I need a plan. I need to make myself accountable. And most of all I need new influence in my life.
I am no longer answerable to what people think I should be. From now henceforth I am only answerable to myself. My young tender self; for her to see that I did her her proud and my future self to know I never let her down and vice versa. If I was 12 again; I would forget about growing up so fast and enjoy my childhood. Just be in that moment running around the field or reading a book meant for my age then. But I guess some things come with my personality and it is time I stop shying away from it and instead let it shine.
I smile.
From tomorrow, everything will change. Not even tomorrow, from this moment on. Just remember you are now answerable to me. And just me alone.
This body was given to me and I to it; and from this moment on, we will take care of each other.
It’s almost 3 AM.
If I could wish a wish for you,it would be for peace and
happiness not only now, but for the whole year through!
I wish that there always be food on your table. And that you always remember those less fortunate. May you always take time to share, and thank those who share with you.
I wish for time, so you may reflect on the blessings that you have, and that you express your love to those who are dear to you.
May you never feel lonely, because there are those who care.
That you realize:
you are special,
you are unique,
you make a difference,
not only at Christmas, but all year!
I wish for your thoughts to be positive ones,
that you never quit,
that you never give up,
and that you continue to learn.
I wish for the love, peace, and joy of
Christmas be yours always.
By Catherine Pulsifer
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| Grunge Effect |
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| I can't remember what this effect was called Uh-Oh!! |
Life is like a multifaceted prism, which gives different colored images, when viewed from different angles. Look how it appears to different people:
a. Life is a struggle, face it.
b. Life is a brief intermission, between birth and death, enjoy it.
c. Life is a lesson, learn it.
d. Life is not a joke, take it seriously.
e. Life is work, work is life.
f. Life is a dream, to be realized.
g. Life is to be lived, enjoy it.
h. Life, without a wife, is no life.
i. Life is not a bed of roses.
j. Life is an ocean, fathom it.
k. Life is an opportunity, don’t miss it.
l. Life without love is desolate.
m. Life is a goldmine, exploit it.
n. Life is what you make it.
o. Life lies in optimism. Be a positive thinker.
p. Life is like a game of snakes and ladders;
one faces many pitfalls before one reaches the top.
q. Life will be a pleasure, if you love your work.
r. Life without goals, is groping in darkness.
s. Life without trust is a life in turmoil.
t. Life is a journey; make it as pleasant as possible.
u. Life doesn’t mean bread alone.
v. Life is meaningful, only if there is a mission.
w. Life is enriched by good friendship.
x. Life doesn’t mean years alone:
“IT IS THE LIFE IN THOSE YEARS”
y. Life is useful, if you contribute something, that will outlive it.
z. Life lies in diversity, not in monotony.
by M. K. Soni
I woke up this morning to one of those beautiful messages that makes your heart skip a bit or just smile. But it didn’t make me feel either of the two. I felt guilty. Guilty for not being able to reciprocate the same feelings. Guilty, that I didn’t want to hear from this person ever again. I don’t wanna see their caller ID, I don’t want them talking to me, I don’t want to repair this relationship that actually needs major repairing. But mostly guilty for actually having these feelings towards the one person who’ll always be their for me (or that is what I tell myself, in short I am not sure if they will and I should be). And then I found myself asking “Do I really love this person anymore?”
Anyway, what is love??
Yeah, I know. The most controversial word that can make or break the world you live in. Anyway thanks to my friend Wikipedia (one of those amazing pages that took me through campus) Love is an intense feeling of deep affection (in simpler words). In short love is a feeling. And one thing we know about feelings is that they are fleeting. One time you are happy the next second you are sad. One time you are on top of the world and the next time you just wanna bury yourself in a deep hole.
I think, sitting down and trying to explain the meaning of love is like welcoming poverty to a vast array of words available. it is just one of those feelings one has to experience to understand.
Is love…
The feeling you get when you see her get in the room?
I wonder if it is love when I embrace someone passionately..
Or is it the caress or touch that makes you wanna swim along with the clouds.
They say love is to be heard (in the voice of the special person in my life, in the whisper of the sea breeze), or tasted (in enjoying every tantalizing experience in eating your favorite meal, or cheating your diet and having a candy bar or the warm melting experience when our lips brush against each other), or seen (in the beauty of God’s magnificent creation or in the depth of my lover’s eye as he whispers how much I mean to him) or even felt (with the chills that run down your back when you watch the sunset or when I hold his hand while crossing the street).
I conclude love can only be experienced with the senses available to you (sight, touch, taste, hearing and smell).
Does love mean pain, suffering and sacrifices? No, I don’t think so. Love is caring. Love is going beyond the physical feeling and still knowing you want that person in your life. Love is biblical. Love is not what you read in historical romance novels nor what you hear play on the radio.
In my experience love is enjoying both the taste of your favorite candy melting in your mouth and the tingling feeling of his lips brushing across yours. But the two should never be confused together. And in the world we live in today, we replace one for the other. We cry and accept sympathy when our iPhone screen breaks but say “whatever” or “to hell” when someone you care about is hurting or you hurt them instead.
I wouldn’t be wrong to say, we live in a generation where by almost everyone is addicted to instant gratification.
We treat people like having your favorite pizza delivered at your doorstep. You dial your favorite pizza joint, order for your favorite pizza. Wait up for 45 minutes and it is delivered at your doorstep. You jump and leap and munch while it is still hot and spicy. As you keep eating you get satisfied and you no longer want any more pizza. You either throw it away or stick it at the back of your refrigerator. Your favorite pizza gets moldy and rots. Truth is it doesn’t matter anymore. Is this the kinda love you are spreading?? Is this the kinda love you want??
And with this knowledge, I know I have lied to so many people that love doesn’t exist. I have locked myself up from many wonderful relationships by building walls around me. By hiding my heart so far that no one can find it. By thinking vulnerability is weakness. How wrong I was.. For the people I have lied to I’m sorry.
All I can tell you; love is more than just a feeling. Every relationship has its ups and downs. Love is taking them blow by blow. From the kisses of the warm breezes and the undying flames to the burning tears that put you to sleep or the bottle of scotch that allows you to drift. Love is doing what is right than what you feel, because the two won’t always coincide. Because the amorous feelings at the beginning of the relationship never lasts the entire relationship. And thinking they will, is juvenile.
Love is taking into consideration that anything can happen and we are all human and the body is weak. The key to long-lasting relationships is to give it a commitment period, when the scorching flames start to die. To choose wisely and act wisely and most of all praying about it (unceasingly).
A young man once asked his friend who happened to be an 80 year old man what love is, and this is what he replied…
“You know you’re in love when you have a reason to come back home, a reason to justify your existence. You’ll know you’re in love when you can’t imagine living without this one person and you’ll do anything to have her/him by your side. You cannot see love, you cannot feel love, but you can feel a bond when you’re around this one person, and you just cannot explain it but it makes you feel special and taken care of. Love, my friend, is what makes you want to wake up tomorrow.”
So next time someone tells you “I love you” hold their hands; look them deep in their eyes and stare directly into their soul and say “Is it the real deal or the candy/pizza kinda love?”
WOW!!!!! Yeah I know… Who thought… I am officially 22.
I have never thought of myself being this old and totally clueless on my life’s direction. I have all these plans set out for myself (who doesn’t at this age), but I don't know what to undertake first. Anyway, my existence started 23 years ago when a young couple (madly in love with each other) in Central Province, Kenya decided they were ready to expand their family.
And a year later on May 7th at 3:12 PM after endless hours of labor, out popped me. Beautiful, amazing, stubborn… ME!! And I have never being more glad.
I think I still have God to thank for being on the right side of thirty 
Well, what’s the big difference of being a year older?? I think I feel a whole lot stronger than I was at the same time a year ago or two years ago. I feel I can conquer more than I had ever thought imaginable in my short sheltered life. I see the strength in my Spiritual life, emotional journey and physical health.
In this past year, I developed this insatiable hunger to know more. To learn more. Maybe, it was there before but it has been so much more this past year. And the more I know, the more questions I develop that are un-answered. And the cycle continues, because I will need answers to the questions I have. But there is something enlightening about all this.. Not to be the all knowing annoying girl, but it gives me a sense of satisfaction to a great length. It has enabled me to develop mercy & compassion at the end of my pointing finger.
Well I guess here is to another chapter of my life.
