If you have never experienced betrayal, then I do not think you have ever felt the pain of seeing your world or part of it crushing and tumbling right before you. Everyone of us, has either been betrayed by a spouse, a parent, a lover, a child, a best friend or someone you place on some certain kind of pedestal.
I remember my first experience with betrayal, it was dated way back in 2001, but it is still etched at the back of my mind as if it happened yesterday. It was one horrendous experience if you ask me. I cried for many nights and days wondering what it was I did wrong. It was a friendship kind of betrayal, and thou we let bygones be bygones, we have never really experienced the kind of friendship and connection we had then; and I do not think we ever will.
Personally, I am the kind of person who makes friends easily but before I really get to call you a best friend, girl friend, bosom buddy or boy friend, it takes a great load of time. And when it does, I get attached. So whenever I am betrayed it feels like a part of my life is falling apart.
You might think it gets easier with each and every betrayal you experience, but each betrayal is like a wound of its own. Some hurt more than others, but they all make an impact on your life. Thou with time, you learn to draw strength from the inner you.
This does not stop the anger from piling, the lump on your throat from forming, the tears from rolling down your cheeks or the numerous questions from crossing your head that might never be answered. And you start wondering, when it all started going south. Was it something you did? Something you neglected? …and the many uncountable questions you can think of.
But I have come to a point in my life; whereby I have realized; whenever you are betrayed it is never actually your fault. If you’re certain loved one really cared about your feelings or emotions or even cared about you at all, they would have taken the time to call you up, sit you down and tell you, exactly where they think you are going wrong or over stepping the kind of relationship you have.
This does not mean it no longer hurts when I am betrayed. It still does, it just means it takes a shorter time to move on. I no longer have the numerous questions going through my head. I still shed a tear or two (c’mon a girl has to moan for something that was once worthwhile in her life).
But I still think I HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL; WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT MY SUCCESS. I know that that maybe some sort of pride or ego...but I bet with time I will also get over it.